Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Hopefully that was to the tune of Rihanna, but if not, let me start by saying work is the hardest thing I have to manage. I work in a very stressful environment, and it’s been the main reason I went back on medication. I find that a traditional, full-time job is hard for me. It’s not the work that’s hard – it’s the inability to have a flexible schedule to go with my episodes.

During my depression, I can’t work. Turns out coming into work hungover and not showered is frowned upon, and during my mania I have better things to do with my time than think about a job. Not to mention, I’m irritable and irrational during those  moments, and it makes for a long day for me, and everyone else around me. It’s been something I’ve learned over the years by trial and error. It’s just better for me to experience the moods in private. I’ve had several manic episodes in the past that made me miss work because I couldn’t focus – and honestly I thought I could make it without a job.Then, there was the crushing depression that would leave me in bed for weeks at a time. The depression would be a lot for me to handle, and it made me realize that I needed to disclose to human resources about my condition this time around.

All of this brings me to the last time I had to adjust my medication. I had to take a medical leave with FMLA. In the US, FMLA is a type of medical leave that allows you to take time for appointments and health episodes, based upon your doctors recommendation. In my experience, there can be pros and cons to the usage of FMLA. Although it was helpful for my mental and physical health, it created unwanted animosity and tension between my coworkers, management, and myself. I’m saying all this to say, how do people like myself find relief? In a society where we put so much emphasis on “making it” the traditional way, where does that leave me?

It leaves me navigating a world where there’s still so much shame and stigma around mental illness – which makes disclosing harder than it should be. But I’m hopeful that one day the workforce will reflect the wide variety of people in it. Hopefully, making it easier for people like myself to navigate traditional jobs with a more non-traditional schedule. So here are my tips:

1. Prioritize your health! – Navigating the system when you suffer from a disorder is a lot of work ,but remember your health is your main priority.

2. Seek help! – Even though it hasn’t been easy for me, I would encourage anyone dealing with a tough time to see if they have any options available to help with the situations that arise.